March 2011 Newsletter www.ComposeYourLife.ca IN THIS ISSUE 1.       Balancing Hope and Reality 2.       Choosing our Responses ... 3.       Quotable Quotes BALANCING HOPE AND REALITY I don’t know about you, but at this time in the year I often feel like I have more than “paid my dues” and am ready to fast-forward from winter in to spring. Yet when I read the blogs, newsletters and Facebook entries of many of my coaching colleagues, there is little but cheeriness and up-beat optimism all round. [Maybe this is due in part to the fact that most of them live on the West Coast where winter is less harsh and spring arrives earlier !!] So as I look out at yet another winter blizzard, I am drawn to reflect on balancing a saccharine-sweet “Pollyanna” vision of the world with an objective reality check. Suffering exists; winter doldrums, darkness and depression are present as well as joy and beauty. In order to transform a situation we must first acknowledge it as it truly is; we do not make challenges disappear by pretending they are not there. Only once we have seen things as they are in the present moment can we begin to envision an improved future.  The origin of much suffering is attachment to our ideas - such as the expectation that everything we encounter should be pleasant, easy or uplifting.  In the words of Anne Wilson Schaef: “Expectations are like girdles. We should have given them up long ago. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Cleaning them out frees us.” So if you, like me, experience recurring moments of longing for the hope and promise of spring and new life, take heart – you are not alone! We can live in the creative tension between the current reality and our inspiring visions without always having to be riding high on the crest of the wave. There is something of great value to be learnt in the most ordinary of moments, if only we take the time and make the space to look at them with honesty and courage. And if you require support and accompaniment along the path, rest assured that the coaching process will provide structure and accountability, firmness and encouragement. If this resonates with you, please contact me for your complimentary coaching session at: info@ComposeYourLifeCoaching.com.   CHOOSING OUR RESPONSES ...   Some days when I sit in the window of my juice bar looking out at the pedestrians walking past, I am struck by the differences in their demeanour. While some are scurrying along with their heads down, others manage to stroll and still look relaxed underneath their many layers of protective winter clothing. It reminds me of the quote of Victor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning:                "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." The first step to inhabit that space following a stimulus is to pause and create awareness of the present moment. In so doing, we regain the power to choose our own actions rather than simply reacting on automatic pilot.  A few deep calming breaths can do miracles to re-centre ourselves rapidly, and to counter the effects of the late-winter blues for those who are adversely affected... Next, consider a wide range of possible responses. By choosing to look beyond black-and-white thinking, we remind ourselves that there is more than one way to do things. Neurologically speaking, we are going beyond our limbic (emotional) brain and accessing our neo-cortex, source of new visions for the future. Often it is helpful to sift through various possibilities by asking ourselves questions, for example: -          How will that response impact my energy levels? -          Which thought and ensuing action will make me feel better?   -          How could I amplify this positive result? -          What might I plan to do differently that will be fun? -          Who would I enjoy connecting with for greater synergy? -          What can I be thankful for in the here and now? -          What do I have that is unique and could be shared to help someone else?   As we draw upon our own deep inner resources in this way we can choose to shine light upon hope, even amidst the darkest days of winter.   QUOTABLE QUOTES   "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus “Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are.” -- Rachel Naomi Remen  "Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain." -- Kahlil Gibran "One ceases to recognize the significance of mountain peaks if they are not viewed occasionally from the deepest valleys." -- Dr. Al Lorin "Depression is the inability to construct a future.” --Rollo May "This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this. " --Charlie Brown *******************************************************************   If you liked my Newsletter, please forward it to a friend - it is the highest compliment you could pay me! You can also encourage friends to subscribe by forwarding this link: http://www.composeyourlife.ca/.  Thank you!